BottleOfBlog

Your Job Is Harder Because You Suck At Doing It

Democratic policies aren’t better, they’re just easier to market to the American people, House Republican Minority Leader John Boehner of Ohio said today.

“We have a tougher job than our friends across the aisle. They’ve been offering Americans a free lunch for the last 80 years, rather successfully,” he told reporters at a lunch hosted by the Christian Science Monitor. “Those of us that believe in a smaller, more accountable government, we have a tougher time making our principles relevant to the American people. But it’s our challenge, and we’ve got to do it.”

During the Bush Debacle, I often thought Democrats were politically amazingly stupid.  And they were.  But I owe the always anonymously quoted "senior Democratic advisors" and "Democratic strategists" an apology for any superlatives I hurled their way when discussing being bad at politics.

Because John Boehner--who isn't even the best of the awful Gee, Oh Pee! bunch--is like some kind of super Terminator ninja when it comes to being a full blown, voter-repulsive genius at political sucking.

That's some game plan, John!  Please continue to tell the American people that the reason they are not voting for you is because they are a bunch of lazy, ignorant free-loaders who are too stupid and unprincipled to vote for their moral and intellectual superiors!

Never mind that the two times in my adult life, when the "smaller, more accountable government" party actually ran the gubment, government grew, government spending went through the roof, deficits exploded, people shredded documents, refused to testify under oath, lied to Congress, and hardly anyone went to jail because everyone got pardoned--the Reagan years--or investigations got bogged down in massive circle perjury jerks.

Never mind that the Gee Oh Pee had eight years to make their "principles" relevant to the American people and--oops!--they forgot to do it!

Christ, Almighty, I hope Sarah Palin picks this douchebag as her running mate in 2012 and 2016!

Oh, and John, the Democrats haven't been offering hard working Americans a free lunch, by the way. They've just been offering us the lunch we paid for.

They're offering us a place at our table, while you pricks spent the last eight years gorging yourselves with fillet mignon and black truffles, on our credit card, and telling us how awesome it is that you're letting us eat the crumbs off the carpet.

How Do They Stand It?

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Cost overruns on big-ticket Pentagon projects have left the U.S. military facing a budgetary "train wreck" at a time of growing budget deficits, Sen. John McCain said Tuesday.

You know, he's right.  Though, you don't have to be a genius to know that the Pentagon is the world's biggest, silliest, most wasteful shopping bazaar on the planet.  You don't have to be in the military, or have phoney baloney "national security experience" to know that we could easily defend this nation and its interests for hundreds of billions of dollars less than what we spend on our military.

But for the last thirty years, you've had to be a Republican to be able to say that.

It's weird, isn't it?

I know I'll never forget Vice President Dick Cheney criticizing John Kerry for voting for cuts in Defense spending that Secretary of Defense Dick Cheney recommended.  

And speaking of John Kerry...

When he lost the 2004 election by the closest electoral college margin in history, I don't really remember him being on the Tee Vee or in the papers seven days a week giving his opinions on how the executive branch should be run.

Like John McCain.

I guess you need some kind of crazy 3D GOP glasses to read between the lines of our incredibly conservative Washington press corps and see the liberal bias.