Keep Up The Good Work!

NEW YORK (CNN) -- Republican Sen. Charles Grassley of Iowa is hoping to stamp out the sex trade by taxing pimps and prostitutes, then jailing them when they don't pay.

The Senate Judiciary Committee Wednesday morning approved a bill sponsored by committee chairman Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, authorizing at least $2 million toward the establishment of an office in the IRS criminal investigation unit to prosecute unlawful sex workers for violations of tax laws.

Finally!  The gubment is doing something about all these whores on my street!

I can't tell you how many times I've been out for a walk in the neighborhood and I see some prostitute and I think, "Why is the Senate Judiciary Committee not doing something about that hooker on my street???"  I can't tell you how many times I've looked out my window to see some strange car double parked with the engine running in some alley way and thought, "What does a guy have to do to get some kind of Congressional oversite into what's going on in the back of that dude's van???"

I can't tell you how many times I've seen some pimp flashing his money roll and thought, "Why is the IRS not auditing that pimp??? That's undeclared income!"

To anyone who'd listen, I'd practically shout myself blue in the face, for years, saying, "These freaking whores are a federal problem.  Just what exactly do we decent people have to do to get some troops on the streets to break up the out of control whoring that's going on?  I mean, would it help if we told Congress we were infested with Mexican whores???  Illegally in the country???  How about if they were gay, illegal immigrant whores wearing hot pants made out of the Stars and Bars?  Would that finally get the National Guard on my block?"

So, anyway, I'm pretty pleased that the Gee Oh Pee is on the job, responding to the most pressing issues facing our troubled republic.

Because, since 2001, I can't think of one single thing that Congress should look into or concentrate it's energy on that's more important to the preservation of this great nation than taxing pimps and hookers.

I try.

I think and I think.

I wrack my brains.

I ask my friends.

But I just can't seem to think of one single problem we've had in the last five or six years which is more important than the hookerization of America. 

I just can't think of anything that the United States Senate should spend more time on investigating and overseeing and legislating about than hookers.

And I can't think of any political party other than the Gee Oh Pee which is more knowledgeable about America's super huge hooker problem!

Federal authorities are investigating allegations that a California defense contractor arranged for a Washington area limousine company to provide prostitutes to convicted former congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham (R-Calif.) and possibly other lawmakers, sources familiar with the probe said yesterday.

Even gay hookers!

WASHINGTON - A conservative ringer who was given a press pass to the White House and lobbed softball questions at President Bush quit yesterday after left-leaning Internet bloggers discovered possible ties to gay prostitution.

I can't think of anything that the Senate Judiciary Committee should be debating or investigating more than hookers! 

I can't think of one  single thing that the Republican controlled Congress should be over-seeing more than whether the Treasury of The People's gubment is being bilked by pimps and hoes!

Ten thousand empty mobile homes, costing U.S. taxpayers $250,000 a month:  not a Republican Congressional concern.

WASHINGTON, June 26 — Among the many superlatives associated with Hurricane Katrina can now be added this one: it produced one of the most extraordinary displays of scams, schemes and stupefying bureaucratic bungles in modern history, costing taxpayers up to $2 billion.

Whore:  Republican Congressional perk.

Mexicans, faggots, flag burners, and whores. 

This is what Republicans are running on.  With two ongoing, unwon wars, costing a hundred billion taxpayer dollars a year.  With record setting deficits.  With bin Laden still not smoked out of his cave.  With the good name of America falling lower and lower in the esteem of the entire world.

We're going to solve your pimp and ho problem and increase gubment revenue!

It's so pathetic.

Not only can't these total frauds govern,  not only are these total frauds completely disinclined to even try, but they're so stupid that without something to be against, they can't for the life of themselves think of something to pretend to be for.

Comments

[Peacechick Mary]

Just think of all the congressional perk money we would get back into the IRS coffers! The other thought I have is, does taxing the pimp and the ho, make them legal entities if they pay up? Where do these congress members get these strange ideas? Frankly, I think they are all on some weird drugs. Super excellent post, Ricky.

[cookie]

oh shit. you mean i'm gonna hafta start paying taxes now?

[ricky]

You're a pimp, Cookie?

[Brenda Helverson]

This reminds me of the State laws (IIRC, including Texas) that required a tax stamp for marijuana sales. You see, they were going to prosecute people who sold weed without tax stamps. As I recall, the stamps became collectors items but as hard as it is to imagine, the law was a complete failure.

[cookie]

i prefer the term "madam," thank you very much. but isn't it all legal offshore?

[newscoma]

Oh yes.
Hookers.
That's what this country needs to be dwelling on right now.
That and teaching monkeys how to drink beer.
That should help the country.