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January 02, 2006


Mary - Minnesota

Thanks Ricky, you have just got me started on a Bush family history search on google, as usual, you seem to be on to something here??

Mary Florida

I like to think Laura beat the hell out of him.


What is it now? Five years in office and one year at Crawford, clearing brush. Is all of Texas covered in "brush" or what?


Oh. my. god. I LOVE this post.

Thanks for the reality check.



I think he wanted to show the folks at Brooke Army Medical Center that Presidenting is hard work, and he too is wounded.

I say give the man a purple heart for all that "brush clearing." As you can see by the frequent contusions on his face, it is hard work and very dangerous too.


What I want is a satellite photo of that ranch. He's been clearing brush there for several years now. Just how much brush can one ranch grow? It's not like he reclaimed the property from the brink of total neglect. Or that there are no ranch hands. Does anybody else claim to witness this alleged brush-clearing?


what's worse is, i'm pretty sure he's mixing his booze w/his medications.


He talks to God every time he's clearing brush.
Try this


I feel really dumb...My husband is a tree-trimmer for crying out loud. He comes home covered in lacerations almost daily, but not on his face. Interesting. Oh yeah, clearing Texas brush frequently comes with the job...

Neil Shakespeare

Naw, I think it's just the cocaine. Although I suppose it's possible he's usin' the cocaine to cover up his drinkin'. Must have some pretty big Visine bills, I reckon. And Binaca. Of course, he bein' of the old school I suppose he might just use the old white bread trick.


That's right, Michelle. Your husband clears actual brush for a living. And he doesn't come home with his face all fucked up.

George W. Bush is the President of the United States for a living. Twice a year, he "clears brush" and shows up looking like he just got his ass kicked outside a bar.

I'll also say this: real people do cut and clear "brush" in states all over the country. Not just Texas. In Pennsylvania, in Iowa, in Oklahoma.

Where ever.

In Crawford?

Bush has zero animals. Not a cow. Not a horse. Not even a bunch of chickens.

What's he clearing brush for? Pasture land for Barney?

He's a sixty year old man, who holds a white collar job, and a couple of times a year he shows up in public looking like he just got his ass kicked.

Look at the pictures.

That ain't a "gentleman" rancher with some cuts and scrapes from fooling around on his dude ranch.

That's a sixty year old man, who spends a month or two on his fake ranch--remember, this is a guy who never in his life, before 1999, ever lived on a ranch--who shows up looking like someone beat him with a baseball bat.

Your husband does this shit for a living and he never looks like Bush after choking on a pretzel.

Bush, according to his handlers, "clears" brush on vacation and he always gets cut, bruised, and beat up.

What a joke. When is our "liberal" media going to say, "What the fuck really happens to this dude during his weeks of seclusion at Crawford?"


Maybe he gets loaded and mistakes the compound's razor wire for brush.

Or maybe he's worried about the wimp factor that so dogged Poppy. Can't let those girlie-man whisperings get started. So, after clearing brush all day (with his teeth, apparently), he head-butts each fencepost all the way back to the ranch.

How can we know? Wait. Let's turn his own warrantless domestic surveillance on himself and read his thoughts:

"Ha!!! Let Reagan top that headbutting shit. He just sat around posing on those ready-for-the-glue-factory ponies. No smirk or swagger in that tired Bonanza flavored photo op."

"Me? I'm gonna start holding cabinent meetings while doing Jean-Claude Van Damme spilts on the big table. And every time I say '9-11', I'm gonna have Cheney taser me with his pacemaker."

"Then, I'm gonna ride my bike under the whole damn Atlantic Ocean, clearing seaweed as I go, get to France, tie that Eiffel Tower to my nipples, and pull that sucker down."

"I dunno. The big ole tower probably has some sharp edges. Hey, Harriet. Is our faces cuttin'?"


On a serious note, Ricky, I have to agree with you. He's most likely a mean ornery drunk (and/or an obnoxious and totally goofy one), who probably does try to clear brush, when he's drunk. And everyone stays clear of him until he hurts himself and then the SS wrestle him to his special couch in the barn to sleep it off so Laura doesn't have to deal, and she stays heavily medicated to keep her plastic Stepford smile.
Just like you posted recently, I've been around enough addicts to know you can't just walk away from that disease by "seeing God's light". That's a bunch of shit. People need constant monitoring and support. Especially an arrogant son of a bitch like him.

By the way, I think in his delusions he does hear God talking to him. So do a lot of psychotics.


That picture is classic - all I keep thinking is "Beware - Beware the drunken Monkey!!"

Neil Shakespeare

Hey, I just had a thought vis-a-vis the brush clearing thing. Maybe he has a crucifixion complex like Mel Dipshit! Maybe he likes lacerating himself so he can experience the pain of the Saviour! Heck, maybe he wears a crown of thorns out there and has a couple of Marines nail him to a pile of cedar brush...


Are you implying that the Chimp-in-Chief is a "brushoholic"? Guesss if he goes hunting it would be for wild turkey?


"brushoholic"! HaHaHaHa! You're so corny Jerry, you always make me laugh!


Gave this some more thought. Bet he has been "cutting" brush: Jimson weed! He looks pretty much like a friend of mine after he drank some stinkweed tea, ran around Topanga all night, and then slept in a tub of deer antlers.


We haven't even touched the Nose Candy issue, have we?


Hey! Isn't this a Sport's Blog? Where's Ricky's commentary on the big bowl games?

Something Polish

Tailgating at Penn State? A pseudo-Big Ten school? Pfffft.

Also, why are you so upset about this. As "Bad Santa," "The Simpsons" and others have shown us, alcoholism is hi-larious. Dum-dum falling down drunk and scarring himself? Funny. And I know [Teh] Funny.


A "pseudo-Big Ten school"?

Last time I checked, they just won the Big Ten.

And as for tailgating in University Park:

UNIVERSITY PARK, Pa., October 27, 2005 - A Penn State home football weekend tops the list of Sports Illustrated on Campus magazine's "102 More Things To Do Before Graduation," and Nittany Lion football coach Joe Paterno is on the cover of the October 27 issue.

SI on Campus not only named Penn State the nation's top college football gameday location, but calls Penn State home football games, "The Greatest Show In College Sports."

But that's just Sports Illustrated. What do they know about college football?

Elayne Riggs

My husband just asked an interesting question - if this is all due to his drinking binges, why aren't his handlers trying to hide it better?


Well, I'd say:

One: because they don't have to. After they got away with the ridiculous pretzel thing, and the original, equally ridiculous "cutting brush", I'm pretty sure they felt confident that they could always say Bush was "cutting brush" or "bike riding" and they would always get away with it.

Two: they do try to hide it. Bush is heavily made up in these pictures. He's got makeup over that gash and he's got makeup over his lip. They can only try to hide so much.

Three: even in the super secret Bush White House, there are all kinds of people who are not "part of the team". Cooks, secretaries, janitors, drivers, whatever.

You know, Linda Tripp worked in the Clinton White House and she hated the Clintons. There are all kinds of federal civil servants who can actually see the president, even if they never, ever even speak to him.

They see Bush all fucked up. They may not know how he got all fucked up, but they can see him looking, after a long weekend, like he got his ass kicked.

It's better to put the monkey in public with a quick excuse than to hide him, with no excuse, leaving people out there knowing he doesn't have the flu or something, but, rather, that he's got huge bruises and cuts all over his face.

You can keep a closed door policy secret in the White House. But, in the White House, Camp David, even the phoney baloney ranch, keeping a physically obvious thing secret is probably not as easy.

Also, sometimes, like with the "pretzel", Bush fucks himself so badly he actually has to go see a doctor.

How you gonna hide that?


My husband is a forester, and for the first four years that we were married, he was busy xeriscaping our local parks (which is to say removing non-native invasives, frequently non-native invasives with lots of thorns).

He didn't come home with a banged-up face.

He did come home almost always with a really, really deep sunburn.

And we live considerably north of Texas.

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