Sorry, Erwin, You Don't Know What You're Talking About

I know, I know, you've spent a year or so in Iraq, and there have been no WMDs, and no terrorist ties.  But, Erwin, you have no idea what you're talking about!  You should be happy to be in Iraq, or you should just shut the fuck up.  If you don't think so, just ask "Bob Dole", who sent me this email tonight: From: Bob Dole

Date: January 30, 2005 11:54:53 PM EST To: ricky Subject: your blog Listen here college boy, I'm an American soldier in the United States Marine Corps and I don't like your mouth. President Bush is our Commander-in-Chief and we follow his orders. You mocking him does not help our cause at all and does not save any lives. If anything all you little bastards talking shit are causing more and more soldiers to come home in body bags. You little neo-hippy pricks talk about how this is Vietnam 2. The only thing similar to this war and vietnam is that a bunch of little pussy fags are afraid they might get drafted and get their hands dirty in a real man's job so they have to run out on the streets and wave their little signs. Don't worry about us soldiers you little cock sucker, we can take care of ourselves just fine without you. Go back to your bong and just shut the fuck up. Sure, sure, it's kind of stupid.  I mean, first of all, I haven't been in college for a long time.  And I'm a little long in the tooth to be worried about the draft.  Also, I'm a white collar professional from suburban Connecticut, and, I think, if you knew what my profession was, you'd be hard pressed to call me a hippy.  And I've never sucked a cock.  So, there's that, as well. Also, I don't have a bong--I've never had a bong.  In fact, I don't do any drugs at all--that's George Bush, you're thinking of, Bob!  He's the guy who was face down in a pile of blow for most of his life.  Then there's that thing about the fact that I haven't caused a single American to come home in a body bag, while George W. Bush has caused over 1300 Americans to come home in body bags.  Not to mention that he's caused thousands of them to come home crippled and disfigured. And for what?  To hold elections in Iraq?  Did he bring that to the United Nations' Security Council?  Did he convince the American people that War was necessary because there was no democracy in Iraq?  Hell, no!  It was because Saddam had such an incredibly awesome stockpile of Weapons of Mass Destruction that to wait would amount to a smoking gun in the form in the mushroom cloud over Manhattan! Also, Saddam was cavorting with terrorists! Okay, all that turned out to be not true.  And, we've spent 200 billion dollars on that lie and 1300 Americans are dead, and thousands are crippled, but somehow, "hippies" like me are not helping our "cause".  I'm not entirely sure what our "cause" might be, now.  No one has really made that clear to me.  But that bong I don't have and that cock I'm not sucking is apparently killing Americans!  And it's also apparently made me into a college boy again! Just shaved the years right off me! So, anyway, Erwin, you don't know what you're talking about.  You're happy to be in Iraq.  And if it weren't for blogs like mine, Iraq would be a goddam paradise for American troops. So, you should, like me, shut the fuck up.  Freedom in Iraq is one thing, but, you know, in America, we draw the line...

Comments

[ricky]

I know I'm commenting on my own post here, but I have to wonder, what is it with nutty right wingers and "cock sucking"?

I mean, really, it's amazing how many of them always associate a difference of political opinion with men pleasuring other men with their mouths.

It's creepy. I mean, when I disagree with someone, I don't immediately think, "I bet you'd like to blow me."

If I were a psychologist, I'd probably think it has something to do with projection. But I'm not. So I'll leave it up to the professionals to figure out.

[Erwin]

I am glad you posted that letter Ricky. initial observations run like this...

I, Erwin, am a reasonably intelligent human being who happens to wear cammies, desert diggies right now. Okay at times I can be irrational and illogical, as pertains to matters of the heart and my own self interest, but barring that I am of at least average intelligence and logic. that being said. I have to doubt the validity of this letter for a few reasons. the primary reason being this. I am a Marine and I make sure people know that I am a Marine, not a soldier in the Marine Corps but a Marine. Nothing more nothing less. Someone calls me a soldier and I correct them. They say I am in the army and I correct them. This "Marine Bob Dole” dubbing himself soldier is a slight to himself. Seeing as how he is so patriotic and hardcore he would never allow himself to be called a soldier... it is inexcusable for him to call himself soldier. So this leads me to believe one of two things. He is the dumbest Marine I have ever heard of (myself excluded because I am the most ignorant Okie to ever breath good old republican air) or he is not a Marine at all. If theory two is true then said person who is not a Marine is more likely than not to be some 14-18 year old male who doesn't know his dick from a stick in the ground, and couldn't tell you one good reasons why you should support the president besides the fact that he is the president and the people have spoken... yes, the people have spoken, we are a nation divided. We are a nation with so much wasted potential. I hate to say it, but I think we are due for a fall. Our duly elected officials are not the best and brightest, but the richest and most dishonest among us. Not just the president. He is the bright shinning star right now that blinds you to all the other stars in the sky. corruption runs rampant on both sides of the line. No one is perfect, but i tell you what you Soldier in the Marines, we can do a Hell of a lot better than the ass smack we have in the White House now. You'll see in four years if it isn't to late. Pessimistic I am. Jedi master I aspire to be. I watched I Robot last night and it takes place in 2035... i don't think we'll make it that long... I will not beat the dead horse, but on the question of Ricky's sexual preference... he is so not gay. if he were gay he would have been instantly attracted to me and I would have to deny his advances with a firm and resolute no. Gay men love me, what can I say? and Ricky does bring up an interesting point on why you would call him a faggot. why would you do that? it makes no sense to me at all. but as we all know I am wrong, and Iraq is the dream vacation i have been planning since I was in my mommy's belly... oh... lucky... me... All that being said, I know Ricky respects your views if they are well thought out and informed but an attack on his sexual preference because you are to ignorant to find facts to back up your side of the story… that is just sad. I pity you soldier marine. I really do.

[ricky]

Erwin, you're the man and the winner of this week's "What's Wrong With This Wing Nut" prize!

Though, it was probably too easy for you, as you actually are a Marine.

And, oh yeah, you're actually in Iraq.

I'll try to make next week's harder for you.

And for all you folks out there who don't agree with me, it's just because you want to blow me.

[Angela]

Because I'm a military wife, I have the utmost respect for soldiers, sailors, marines and airmen, regardless of their political views....

but to "Bob Dole, the Marine Soldier", I have to say...

SHUT THE FUCK UP!

That is all.

[=AnnA=]

Well, he does call you "college boy," which you could take as a compliment to your boyish good looks...

Otherwise, yeah. What Erwin said. What a douche!

[trueleigh]

Sorry to be the one to have to tell you Ricky, we live in a world of "Cork soakers", "Maryjane fiends", and "Guys pretending to be college students".
Didn't you know that the movie "Old School" is actually a recruitment film for the hippie cult that is planning on overthrowing the government?

Bob Dole, As a democracy we have the right to stand up for what we believe, and yes, that absolutely includes not agreeing with our government going to war with Iraq!!

Just because the "President" declared war does not mean it is automatically the "right thing to do".

Let's take a history lesson, Bob, and learn about two phenomenal isues that our government would NOT have corrected if they had not been challenged ---
Women's right to vote and the civil rights for minorities. Fortunately, the public who believed in reform stood up to the government.

You are entitled to support the war if you choose, just as other can chose not to.

[Jerry]

Have to draw the line, ricky! If we tried enfreement here at home, the populace would panic. They would think that the loss of medical facilities, electricity, potable water, food supplies, civil order, the rubblation of homes, the one million "excess deaths" and so on were the acts of terrorists.

[Donna]

It's not all about oral gratification, remember the guy that called you a "vermin ridden ass fucker"?

[=AnnA=]

Rather be a giver than a receiver any day! That's a salute to your (gay) virility!

[Jo]

Hee. Enfreement. Rubblation. That's funny, Jerry.

[Ellen]

Hey Bobby, your commander-in-chief doesn't impress me. Not many people who wage war on others do. Mocking him? He's such an easy target. I support all those Americans (even you, if you are over there) sent by our government to fight a war I feel is totally unjust to both our country and the Iraqis. By the way, what do you consider a "real" man's job? Killing men, women, and children?

Do you think your commander-in-chief cares two cents about you? Oh, and Bobby, I taught your children for 20 years.

[ricky]

Ol' Bob Dole is not over there. He's not even a Marine. Erwin picked that up pretty quick, as, of course, he would.

One of my best friends was an active duty Marine in the early 90's, and another good friend of mine in graduate school was a captain in the Marine Corps and served in Desert Storm, and both of them have about a pathological reaction to being called "soldiers".

I just think it's funny that a guy is offended by me mocking George W. Bush for being such a big liar and then lies about himself to express it.

I think it's even funnier that a guy is offended that I mock George W. Bush for pretending to be a "War President" and then pretends to be a Marine.

Birds of a feather, I guess.

Also, since he doesn't agree with me, he probably wants to blow me.

[Tonya]

Hey, Ricky, this blow thing? (I'm sorry, I'm picking myself up off the floor from laughing...) Methinks you doth protest too much? No really, I'm kidding. This whole this is just too insane not to laugh about.

I loved Ellen's comment. Right on.