I got an email today, up in Heaven, where I got to go even though I'm a shameless heathen because God was so pleased with me for divining His will as early as late 2001 that all His creations should heap scorn and foul language upon George W. Bush and denounce him as a fraud, and a criminal, and an incompetent bumbling loser.
And God hates a loser. Go read the Old Testament, if you don't believe me. He fucking pummeled losers all through it.
Anyway, up in Heaven, I got this email, again, asking me where I've been. Which is very nice.
But the sad truth is: I'm dead. I died of a horrific case of Rose Bowl, which was aggravated by a recurring contract of Joe Paterno, which I had suffered from for years.
Anyway, in lieu of flowers, my family asks that you donate speedy cover corners and hard hitting safeties to the Penn State University in my memory.
WASHINGTON – Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said
Sunday she regrets the U.S. relied on flawed intelligence as the basis for
going to war in Iraq and took partial responsibility for mismanaging the
Aside from the Idiot in Chief, who is likewise taking a much deserved Defeat Lap and saying similarly stupid and nonsensical things, is there anyone as despicable as this woman?
She was the National Security Advisor. It was her job and her greatest responsibility to assess whether or not the basis for going to war, which she peddled non-stop on every Tee Vee show for months in 2002 and 2003, was flawed.
And the intelligence that was the basis for going to war in Iraq was so flawed that it required the Bush administration to make nine hundred and thirty five public and intentional misstatements and misrepresentations of that intelligence in order to sell the American people on the idea that immediate war in Iraq was necessary.
The intelligence was so flawed that when the Bush administration provided Colin Powell with evidence to present to the United Nations Security Council it was so laughable that even the good soldier Powell threw pages of his speech into the air and declared: "I'm not reading this. This is bullshit!"
The intelligence was so flawed that, nine months before the illegal and un-Constitutional war Bush declared on Iraq, the British had determined that it was bogus and being manipulated by the Bush administration.
The intelligence was so flawed and so weak that, just weeks before Bush and his National Security Advisor kicked the weapons inspectors out of Iraq and rushed the United States into a disastrous and unnecessary war, sixty percent of Americans still thought we should give weapons inspectors more time to determine if war was really necessary.
The intelligence was so flawed that the man who provided it to Bush and his National Security Advisor was disgraced by being forced to accept the "highest civil award given to men and women of exceptional merit, integrity and achievement", the Medal of Freedom.
The intelligence was so flawed that the Chairman of the House Select Committee on Intelligence, whose only job was oversight of our intelligence agencies during the the rush to war, was likewise disgraced by his failure to ensure that the CIA provided reliable and accurate intelligence to the President and his National Security Advisor. As a result of his profound and regrettable incompetence, he was appointed to head the CIA.
The Bush administration did not rely on flawed intelligence. The Bush administration, including Condi Rice, manufactured flawed intelligence. They made it up, they packaged it, and they sold it to the American people. And it was still so shitty and weak and flimsy, that after a nine month and mulit-billion dollar media blitz, most Americans still weren't entirely sold on this lemon.
And now Bush and his Magic Eight Ball want to express their regrets at relying on "flawed intelligence"? They want to act like they were victims of "flawed intelligence"?
We certainly had an "intelligence" failure during the tenure of Bush and his moronic National Security Advisor Rice. But it didn't involve information gathering.
It involved having having total idiots running our government.
Only a lifelong political operative of the modern Gee Oh Pee could say this:
Republicans have a let’s follow the king…we’re not the
kind of guys who stand up and say, “Let’s kill the king.”That’s part of the problem with the
Republican party.So you have a go
along with the President, “I’ve got to be with my President even when he’s
wrong” mentality that permeates our party.
While sitting in front of a larger than life portrait of Richard Nixon.
(CNN) — Sen. Joe
Lieberman retained his chairmanship of the Senate Homeland Security and
Governmental Affairs Committee Tuesday following a lengthy and often heated
debate over what — if any — price the Connecticut Democrat-turned-Independent
should pay for his vocal support of Republican Sen. John McCain's presidential
Democratic caucus, meeting behind closed doors, voted 42 to 13 to allow
Lieberman to keep the high-profile chairmanship… "It's
all over with," Majority Leader Harry Reid said at a news conference
following the vote. "Joe Lieberman is a Democrat. He's part of this
But Joe isn't a Democrat, Harry. The Democrats of the state Joe Lieberman represents voted to not return him to the Senate. Joe only returned to the Senate because Republicans voted for him. And now Joe is an Independent Democrat, which is something else entirely different from being a Democrat. It's something that allows you to campaign against other Democrats in the Senate and speak at the Republican National Convention on behalf of a Republican presidential candidate.
And Joe did that while being part of the Democratic caucus.
So, no, Harry, Joe is not a Democrat. And I have no idea what supposedly is over. Does that mean he is going to support his party now that he's part of the Democratic caucus, when he campaigned against his party all this year while he was part of the Democratic caucus?
What is over? The Democratic leadership pretending to address the concerns of the Democrats they represent? I suppose so.
vehement criticism of the decision from elements of the party's more liberal
base, which has insisted that Lieberman be punished for failing to support
President-elect Barack Obama's campaign…
The party's more liberal base! There it is! The hippies, and the nutroots, and the potty-mouthed bloggers! The wild eyed lefties! Reid dismissed their criticism! Because they are crazy! And they're out of synch with the more centrist mainstream American!
Joe Lieberman represents Connecticut in the Senate. Wanna know how the people of Connecticut feel about Joe?
The numbers are worse for Lieberman, a
self-described "independent Democrat": 53 percent disapprove and 41
percent approve of his performance. Lieberman could not be reached for comment.
Fifty three percent of the people in Joe's own state disapprove of Joe's performance. Okay, but it's been a tough year to be in gubment. What does that really mean?
Lieberman lost the Democratic nomination, then won re-election
as a petitioning candidate. He remains a registered Democrat — though not in
the eyes of voters. Fifty-two percent consider him an independent, 22 percent a
Republican and just 15 percent a Democrat. Seventy-one percent of Republicans approve of his performance,
and 76 percent of Democrats disapprove.
Fifteen percent of all voters in Connecticut, the state Joe represents, consider him to be a Democrat. A whopping seventy one percent of Connecticut Republicans approve of his performance. And a monstrous seventy six percent of Connecticut Democrats disapprove of Joe Lieberman's performance.
And Reid dismissed criticism from the party's more liberal base! All seventy six percent of it!
These are the Democrats Joe Lieberman "represents". And they hate him and they don't consider him to be a Democrat. But Harry Reid, and 42 Democratic Senators, dismissed the crazy concerns of that fringe seventy six percent of the party and announced that Joe, despite a year campaigning for Republicans, is a solid Democrat and an asset to the party.
at the same press conference, Lieberman called the resolution allowing him to
keep the Homeland Security chairmanship "fair and forward leaning."
"It's a resolution… of reconciliation and not retribution, and I
appreciate it," he noted.
Well, we can all hope Joe Lieberman appreciates it as much as he appreciated Barack Obama campaigning on his behalf in the Connecticut primary.
The best we can take away from this horrendous rebuke to the desires of The People is that, apparently, 42 Democratic Senators are having affairs with their staffers and Joe Lieberman is aware of each and every one.
The worst is that the Democratic leadership is so removed from reality that they actually believe their ineffectual, stupid, weak, and submissive behavior of the last eight years is the reason they are back in the majority.
When Senate Dems caucus tomorrow, the Democratic leadership is likely to propose that he keep his Homeland Security chairmanship but lose a lesser sub-committee chairmanship instead, according to a source familiar with the situation.
It's not about retribution. It's not about punishment.
Joe Lieberman is a man who called Barack Obama a socialist and a Marxist, and questioned Obama's patriotism, while campaigning for Republican Senators and speaking at the Republican National Convention.
And these weak kneed idiots are going to allow this guy to keep a Chairmanship that will allow him to hold hearings and investigate the administration of...Barack Obama.
Sorry, but it's idiotic.
Democrats might as well give the Chairmanship to John McCain. Though, frankly, I'd rather see John McCain as Chairman of Homeland Security than Joe. At least McCain was embarrassed by some of the things he said or did during the campaign. Lieberman regards his sleazy betrayal of the man he mentored in the Senate as a fucking act of conscience.
I don't care what Joe is saying or promising in private. He will not keep his word. He never does.
He will break his promises and he will screw the Democratic party--like he did in '98, and 2000, and 2004, and 2008. And he will do it at the worst possible time, while sadly, in his Droopy Dog voice, proclaiming that it is his virtue and morality that compels him to commit disgustingly dishonest and dishonorable acts.
That's what he did when he dumped his first wife.
And I, for one, will take no pleasure in saying, "I told you so" since I, along with tens of millions of Americans who voted Democrats into office will likewise be getting screwed one more fucking time by the grinning garden gnome of sanctimonious scumbaggery.
And for what? The 58th Democratic vote, which is good for exactly nothing?
If Joe Lieberman is such a piece of shit that he would vote against Democratic interests because he lost his Chairmanship--if he would put himself before the ideals he supposedly believes in--then clearly this a man with no convictions and he can not be trusted with any position of power at all.
This is about good government. This is about protecting the interests of sixty six million Americans who voted for Barack Obama. This is about Democrats advancing a Democratic agenda.
Democrats in the Senate owe it to the Democrats who put them there to protect us from one more outrageous betrayal at the hands of man we fucking voted out of the party.
Why is it so hard to get Democrats in government to do what's best for Democrats in government?
WASHINGTON - Is Sarah Palin going through a catharsis, some
sort of political rehabilitation or is she now a permanent fixture on the
national political scene?
The former Republican vice
presidential hopeful returned home after the election to her job as Alaska
governor where she promptly held a news conference and conducted several
television interviews. She’s lined up for NBC’s “Today” show Tuesday.
And this is true. Since Sarah Palin lost her bid to become Vice President of the United States, she's been on Tee Vee very nearly non-stop.
And forget all that "what liberal media" stuff about why hasn't any other losing Vice Presidential candidate in the history of television gotten the kind of attention this woman who has higher unfavorability ratings than favorability ratings gotten.
The answer is, quite simply, what you already know: the major media is hopelessly conservative, much like its corporate owners.
But what I still want to know is why, when she's been on Tee Vee nearly non stop since getting embarrassingly trounced in a national election--not one single reporter--and despite the conservative ownership of nearly every single public and cable television and radio station, and mass market newspaper, we're still told that individual reporters are by and large liberal--has asked Sarah Palin "The Question".
As I understand socialism, it involves the state or collective ownership of the means of producing wealth and the distribution of that wealth.
And since Alaskans collectively own the oil wealth of Alaska, and since the state distributes that wealth to Alaskans, and since Sarah Palin campaigned fiercely against socialistic policies, and since a majority of Alaskans voted for her policies...
Now that she is returning to govern Alaska, what exactly is she going to about dismantling the awful wealth destructive policies of America's only socialist state?
It's not a trick question. It's not an unfair question.
It's at the heart of her political philosophy. And fifty eight million Americans voted against socialism in this country, including sixty percent of Alaskans, at her urging.
So, please, ask her. What is she going to do to put her policies into practice and end the awful socialism in Alaska?
percent (69%) of Republican voters say Alaska Governor Sarah
Palin helped John McCain’s bid for the presidency, even as news reports surface
that some McCain staffers think she was a liability… Ninety-one
percent (91%) of Republicans have a favorable view of Palin,
including 65% who say their view is Very Favorable. Only eight percent (8%)
have an unfavorable view of her, including three percent (3%) Very Unfavorable… When asked to choose among some of the GOP’s top names for their choice
for the party’s 2012 presidential nominee, 64% say Palin. The next closest
contenders are two former governors and unsuccessful challengers for the
presidential nomination this year -- Mike Huckabee of Arkansas with 12% support
and Mitt Romney of Massachusetts with 11%.
Look, as far as I'm concerned, I hope the Gee Oh Pee runs this dimbulb every four years until she's so old that, when she idiotically winks into the camera during debates, more people think she's having a mini-stroke than being plucky.
So I don't care. That's great news for the Democratic party. That should make 2012 a real laugher.
But, even I, who am unable to elevate myself to Obamaesque disagreeing without being disagreeable, am astounded that nine out of ten Republicans have a favorable opinion of a woman so stupid she says shit like this regularly:
“Now we kick in that fiscal conservativeness that
needs to be engaged, and we progress this state with $57-a-barrel oil,” Palin
I know she has a special needs child and so this is impolite to say, but, honestly, I can't think of any other way of putting it: is she retarded or something?
She sounds more like a Vice Presidential candidate for Wasilla Junior High than the great United States of America.
And she says shit like that all the time.
Here she is, the Republican politician who knows more about energy than anyone in the United States, talking about...who the fuck knows what:
"Oil and coal? Of course, it’s a fungible commodity and
they don’t flag, you know, the molecules, where it’s going and where it’s not.
But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very
hungry domestic markets that need that oil first,” Palin said. “So, I believe
that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to
such a degree that it’s Americans that get stuck to holding the bag without the
energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It’s got to flow into our
domestic markets first.”
Even if she could manage to make herself understandable to humans so that we knew what she was talking about, she still doesn't know what she's talking about. And this is her area of "expertise".
Here she is, the Republican candidate for Vice President, talking about what it is she'll be doing as Vice President:
Q: Brandon Garcia wants to know, “What does the Vice President do?”
PALIN: That’s something that Piper would ask me! … [T]hey’re in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom.
To be fair, this question was asked by a third grader, so Palin was probably a little guarded in her wrong response, fearing that she was being outsmarted and tricked.
Let's let her elaborate on her view of the Vice Presidency in a forum free from the perils of "gotcha!" questions posed by nine year olds:
Well, our founding fathers
were very wise there in allowing through the Constitution much flexibility
there in the office of the vice president. And we will do what is best for the
American people in tapping into that position and ushering in an agenda that is
supportive and cooperative with the president's agenda in that position. Yeah,
so I do agree with him that we have a lot of flexibility in there, and we'll do
what we have to do to administer very appropriately the plans that are needed
for this nation. And it is my executive experience that is partly to be
attributed to my pick as V.P. with McCain, not only as a governor, but earlier
on as a mayor, as an oil and gas regulator, as a business owner. It is those
years of experience on an executive level that will be put to good use in the
White House also.
She'll be tapping into that position, while ushering in an agenda that is supportive and cooperative of the president's agenda in that position, which she's tapped into. Also, she'll be administrating very appropriately The Plans that are needed for this nation--as opposed to Bill Clinton's very naughty and inappropriate handling of The Plans--and putting to good use her executive experience that is partly attributable to her being picked as Vice President in the White House, also.
These are the words of a person who has shit for brains. This is a report on a book never read. This is an answer that's greatest strength is that it is impossible to decipher in real time. If it had accidently come anywhere near answering the question asked, Gwen Ifill would have been forced to slam her palm down on the giant red button on her moderator podium, causing the trap door beneath Palin to open and flush her down a water slide into a pool of green goo erected for Nickelodeon's "You Can't Say That During The Vice-Presidential Debates" show.
Then a bunch of third graders would laugh at her for being so stupid.
And let's not forget Governor Palin, who is giving us her expansionist interpretation of the zero Vice Presidential powers as enumerated in the Constitution--oh, I'm sorry! It allowed the Vice President the "much flexibility" of casting a "Yay" or "Nay" tie breaking vote any way he or she might choose--has many other scholarly insights into what "our Founding Fathers were very wise there in allowing through the Constitution", such as how the First Amendment is threatened by a free press criticizing politicians for saying things that are stupid, hateful and untrue.
And who could forget her masterpiece of socio-political economic theory--The Umbrella Of Job Creation!
COURIC: Why isn’t it better, Governor Palin, to spend $700
billion helping middle-class families who are struggling with health care,
housing, gas and groceries? Allow them to spend more, and put more money into
the economy, instead of helping these big financial institutions that played a
role in creating this mess? PALIN: That’s why I say I, like every American I’m speaking with, we're
ill about this position that we have been put in. Where it is the taxpayers
looking to bail out. But ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who
are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up our
economy. Um, helping, oh, it’s got to be about job creation, too. Shoring up
our economy, and putting it back on the right track. So health care reform and
reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions, and
tax relief for Americans, and trade — we have got to see trade as opportunity,
not as, uh, competitive, um, scary thing, but one in five jobs created in the
trade sector today. We’ve got to look at that as more opportunity. All of those
things under the umbrella of job creation.
I don't think I've ever seen anyone tie it all together so neatly and thoroughly, and, dare I say it, brilliantly. I particularly like the part about how reducing taxes has to accompany tax reductions and tax relief. I've often thought that that's where a lot of economic theory went off the rails--by not including tax relief with tax reductions when talking about reducing taxes.
By any measure of human intelligence--including the ones that use voodoo or throwing bones or supply side economics or any other crazy shit like that--Sarah Palin has got to be the stupidest person ever put on a major party's ticket for the office of Vice President.
Again, I don't care. I hope Republicans run her again and again and again and again. Because she's a moron and she will lose again and again and again. She's too dumb to be President! I know that Republicans tried to obliterate that thresh hold with Reagan and George W. Bush, but even so, she's just too dumb.
Like blind people can't be wideouts in the NFL, like people without arms or legs can't be jugglers, at a certain point of disability, not everything is possible.
And so I find it amazing that ninety one percent of Republicans have a favorable opinion of this jackass.
And I understand that Republicans twice voted enthusiastically for George W. Bush, a garble-mouthed, incurious, winkin' and grinnin', know nothing Gubner, who was a bit of a late bloomer.
But I'd still like to think that even they, after twice electing such a monstrously incompetent douchebag, who inherited a country of unprecedented power and wealth and prosperity, a country with a two hundred and forty billion dollar and growing a year surplus, a country of unassailable military superiority, a country that was the sole Super Power in the world and poised to create a better world in what would undoubtably be called The American Century, and then, in eight short years, ran up six trillion new dollars in debt, destroyed our military, destroyed the world economy, destroyed our national credibility, and made nearly every department and agency of the federal government disfunctional--I'd still like to think that even Republicans would be saying, "Yeah, that was pretty fucked up. We shouldn't do that again."
But they're not.
Two out of three of Republicans would like to see Palin as President.
These people would rather wipe this country off the face of the globe than admit they were wrong.
The modern Gee Oh Pee was a bad idea to start with--a crazy Nixonian mix of bigots, self-loathing homosexuals and perverts, country club aristocrats, oil men, investment bankers, and retards. But it's gone beyond that. It's become a pathology.
It needs to be broken up, smashed into tiny pieces, and blended into a bunch of different parties with opposing agendas so that these peoples' net effect on American politics and our lives is zero.
It's the only thing that can be done. It's the only thing that can restore this nation to greatness and prosperity. Because these people are insisting, again and again and again, that idiots can run the government. As long as they are Republican.
If nine out of ten Republicans have a favorable opinion of Sarah Palin, if two out of three Republicans would like to see her in the White House, then we have an entire political party that is too irresponsible and ridiculous, and dangerous to govern our country ever again.