Feb. 23, 2005 - Defiant and all over the map, Barry Bonds dodged the steroids topic as much as he could and instead took shots at Jose Canseco and the entire media contingent…
"You guys are like re-running stories," Bonds said to more than 100 reporters in attendance. "This is old stuff. It's like watching 'Sanford and Son.' It's almost comical, basically. ... Are you guys jealous, upset, disappointed, what?"
Well, Barry, it might be like watching "Sanford and Son". Except maybe I missed that episode where the size and shape of Lamont’s skull actually changed. Or the one where Rollo packed on thirty pounds of muscle in six weeks.
Bonds said the key to his continued success and strength, even in the later years of his career, has been "hard work, that's about it."
Hmmm. Hard work, huh?
Human Sized Bonds not working hard.
Garbage Dumpster Sized Bonds working hard.
Weird. Because, as we all know, Bonds previously attributed his massive late thirties growth spurt to broccoli intake.
Left Side: Not Enough Broccoli!
Right Side: Just Enough Broccoli.
Maybe it’s just a matter of asking Barry the right question.
Hey, Barry, just exactly what exercise is it that bulks up your skull? What’s that work out plan called?
Cranercize? What do you do, some skull flies? Barry, how much have you been benching with your eyebrows?
Great athletes are often icons of the times in which they live. Surely, Barry is the athlete of the Bush years--a great big, whining, petulant, smirking, cheating bullshitter.