BottleOfBlog

Oh, No, Not Washington

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- An investment executive who paid more than $20 million for an original, handwritten copy of the Magna Carta presented the ancient paper Monday to the media and plans to loan it to the National Archives…

The original Magna Carta was signed in 1215. Rubenstein's is one of four remaining copies of the document commissioned by the King of England in 1297 to establish basic human rights as part of English law.

Great.

How much you want to bet asshead shows up and tacks a "signing statement" onto it?

They had to bring it to Washington...

We Have Met The Enemy And It Is Not Us

ABOARD AIR FORCE ONE - President Bush on Thursday stood by his demand for legal protection for phone companies that help the government eavesdrop on suspected terrorists, saying he sees no prospect of a compromise with congressional Democrats…

If phone companies need legal protection for helping the government eavesdrop on suspected terrorists, why on Earth doesn't Bush ask for that? Why is he asking for legal protection for phone companies who help the government eavesdrop on Americans???

Oh, that's right! I forgot.

Because he's the Worst President Evah and the least son of the Worst American Family.

In the meantime, a temporary surveillance law adopted by Congress last summer expired at midnight last Saturday. House Republicans and three dozen Democrats voted against extending it last week in hopes of pressuring House Democrats into adopting the Senate bill.

"It's positively Orwellian that the president forgets that he's the one who blocked an extension of the warrantless wiretapping program," said Jim Manley, spokesman for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, a Nevada Democrat.

Asked about a potential deal with Democrats, Bush said, "I would just tell you there's no compromise on whether these phone companies get liability protection." The administration says it needs the help of the phone companies for its post-Sept. 11, 2001, surveillance.

Bush said his strategy for breaking the deadlock on the surveillance bill will be to keep talking about why it should be passed on his terms. "The American people understand we need to be listening to the enemy," he said.

Yes, they do. They also understand that they are not The Enemy. And about eighty percent of Americans now understand that anyone trying to foist this bullshit on them might possibly be.

If Democrats don't stomp this lame-duck loser Gestapo horseshit back down into the dirt where it belongs, then they don't deserve to run the gubment any more than the pedophiles, and perverts, and drug addicts, and criminals who make up the modern Gee Oh Pee.

I Think That's A Conservative Estimate

He's a poll cellar-dweller whom even GOP presidential candidates sneer at, but George W. Bush and some congressional backers see happy days for the prez this year. His fans have dubbed it his "legacy year"…[b]ut more immediately, they are predicting a remarkable poll shift to about 45 percent favorable by the time he leaves office next year.

Puh-lease, when Bush finally leaves the White House, I think about 80% of Americans will have a favorable opinion of that.

Rotten To The Last Oily Drop

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - President Bush warned Tuesday that surging oil prices threaten the U.S. economy and urged OPEC nations to boost their output. His plea drew little sympathy from oil-rich Saudi Arabia, which said production levels appear normal…

He promised to tell Saudi King Abdullah that American families are being hurt by oil prices that have topped $100 a barrel, more than three times what they were when he took office…

In public, the same Bush whose early career was in the Texas oilfields and who said during his 2000 presidential campaign that the president must "jawbone" oil-producing nations to drop rates had been silent about the issue on this eight-day trip until Tuesday.

Well, that's not much of a surprise, is it? I mean, he didn't do anything he promised in his 2000 presidential campaign.

He raised the subject here, in the country with the world's largest supply of oil, during a morning meeting with Saudi business leaders, saying oil prices were very high and "tough on our economy." He spoke more directly, but still gently, in an afternoon meeting with reporters who were unexpectedly summoned to the guest palace where he stayed one of his two nights.

"I hope that OPEC, if possible, understands that if they could put more supply on the market it would be helpful," he said.

Bush conceded that, in reality, increasing ouput would be difficult. The demand for oil, particularly from China and India, is stretching available supplies, he said. And "a lot of these oil-producing countries are full out" in terms of what they can produce, he said.

Wait a second! I thought refinery capacity was causing high oil prices!

[Bush] urged Congress to pass legislation to help homeowners refinance. Bush also called for expanding petroleum refining capacity and exploring for energy in "environmentally friendly ways."

"We have got to understand that if we are worried about gasoline prices, we ought to expand refineries here in the United States, and we ought to explore for oil and gas in environmentally friendly ways in the United States," he said.

But, gee, if there's no surplus on the market, and crude is selling for $100 a barrel, how would being able to refine more of it substantially lower gas prices?

The answer is: it wouldn't.

Bush has been pushing that bullshit on us since gasoline was $1.50 a gallon. And it doesn't have anything to do with cheaper gasoline. It has to do with gutting the Clean Air Act.

That's it.

Why do reporters keep humoring this loser like he's some kind of Oracle when it comes to economics, and diplomacy, and our American government?

He doesn't know anything. He's like some stupid looking parrot prop on a pirate's shoulder in a made for TV movie that squawks bizarre jibberish for comic relief.

After seven years, just address him with the respect he's earned:

"Hey, monkey, say something funny for the camera!"

Oh, Wow, Big Surprise

WASHINGTON - Telephone companies have cut off FBI wiretaps used to eavesdrop on suspected criminals because of the bureau's repeated failures to pay phone bills on time.

A Justice Department audit released Thursday blamed the lost connections on the FBI's lax oversight of money used in undercover investigations. In one office alone, unpaid costs for wiretaps from one phone company totaled $66,000.

What???

But, but, but I thought we could trust the government to conduct wiretaps without warrants!

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- President Bush on Sunday defended his administration's use of wiretaps on U.S. citizens without a court order…

Bush on Sunday described his program as "necessary to win this war and to protect the American people," and added that the program has been reviewed "constantly" by Justice Department officials.

What kind of constant review?

We also found that late payments have resulted in telecommunications carriers actually disconnecting phone lines established to deliver surveillance results to the FBI, resulting in lost evidence," according to the audit by Inspector General Glenn A. Fine.

It was being so constantly and carefully reviewed to make sure that the Fourth Amendment rights of American citizens weren't being violated and it was so necessary to our national security that no one noticed that they were listening to a bunch of dead phone lines? No one remembered to pay the fucking phone bill???

And the phone companies cut off FBI wiretaps of "suspected" al-Qaeda terrorists because the phone bill wasn't paid? Aren't these the same people who are now claiming they should get immunity for willfully and knowingly violating our Constitutional rights because they were being patriotic? They were doing their patriotic duty?

So these companies--these American companies--were willing to break the law and violate their fellow Americans' Constitutional rights for the sake of national security.

But only if they got paid on time.

Any fucking Congressman votes for immunity for these mutherfuckers needs to get run out of Washington by a berserk crowd of justifiably angry citizens, carrying torches, tar, and feathers.

If we ever find out truly what these incompetent imbeciles did with this unchecked, un-Constitutional power, we'll surely all be appalled.

Again.

Though this? This comical mix of incompetence and greed, and laughable dishonesty?

Unless you're a moron, this isn't even interesting.

Mister Projection

JERUSALEM (CNN) -- The war of words between United States and Tehran continued Wednesday, with President Bush repeating his assertion that Iran is "a threat to world peace."

Hmmm.

Maybe they are. Maybe they aren’t.

But you know the last time President Bush asserted someone was a threat to world peace?

THE PRESIDENT: Good morning. I appreciate our Secretary of State coming by to brief the Vice President and me and Condoleezza Rice about our progress in working with the United Nations, convincing the United Nations Security Council to firmly deal with a threat to world peace.

That was right before he sent an un-Constitutional resolution to Congress to enable him to start the Iraq War.

He laid out his full justification for his assertion that Iraq was a threat to world peace here.

And none of it was true.

I think someone also ought to say: that's a fucking awesome way to start your historic mid-east peace initiative! Go to Jerusalem--in the one non-Muslim country in the entire region--and denounce another Muslim country as a threat to world peace.

There's over a billion Muslims in the world. Most of them reside in the mid-east.

That's just got to look fantastic to them.

Bush's mid-east peace initiative just ended the same day he tried to start it. It went about as well as every other stupid thing he's done since he forced his imbecilic self upon the Great American People.

It's almost mind-numbing that, even though he's become a figure of international scorn and derision without any power or influence in his own country, he still has the unstoppable Iron Will to wreak havoc among thoughtful peoples everywhere and the shameless, unthinking sociopathology to say anything, regardless of the truth, to achieve a goal that ultimately even he doesn't know the value or purpose of.

His entire presidency is a failure. Not just an ordinary failure--a Jimmy Carter type, where a guy tried the best he could, but he just wasn't cut out for the job he found himself in.

No.

Bush's failure is historical. It's monumental. Not only wasn't the guy up to the task, but he didn't even try as best he could. He was inadequate--mentally, morally, and emotionally. He didn't have the work ethic--again, Bill Clinton, for all his faults, was getting a blow job, eating a pizza, and talking to a Senator about legislation all at the same time. That's a President working for the American people.

Bush? He was trying to beat Reagan's record for most vacation days while in office.

And Reagan was twenty years older than Bush.

And his mind was going.

Bush is mean, and lazy, and stupid, and he squandered seven years of our collective lives doing nothing but trying to bask in the Greatness that he always suspected he deserved, despite the lifelong evidence to the contrary.

And now, we get down to the wire. And it's become apparent that he was never the guy with the bullhorn, standing on the smoking pile of rubble even when he was the guy standing on the smoking pile of rubble with the bullhorn, and it's too late to do anything truly meaningful for the American people or with his smoking rubble of a presidency...

And all his little rat like brain can think of is "One more war! Maybe if I can have one more war, that goes better than the two I fucked up, history will remember me as the Great Commander In Chief I really am!"

Dear Congress, reign this turkey in. Let's wrap this loser up.

Stoopid For Whatever Ails Ya

CHICAGO (AP) -- President Bush said Monday that economic indicators are "increasingly mixed," causing anxiety for many Americans. But he said the economy is resilient and the U.S. has dealt with anxiety before.

Bush said it was important, in a time of economic uncertainty, to send a signal that taxes will remain low.

Right! Nothing justifies Bush’s tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans like deficits or recession.

Except...maybe a surplus!

(AP) President Bush said Saturday that the most important number in the budget he sends to Congress next week is the $5.6 trillion surplus it projects over the next 10 years.

That huge projected surplus provides the underpinning of all the administration's tax-cut and spending plans, Mr. Bush said in his recorded weekly radio address.

"A surplus in tax revenue, after all, means that taxpayers have been overcharged," the president said. "And usually when you've been overcharged, you expect to get something back." The surplus figure "counts more than any other" in the budget, he said.

If a guy’s got one answer, no matter what the question, that guy’s got no answer at all.

If a guy cites two entirely opposite set of circumstances to justify his position, then neither set of circumstances justifies his position.

He may have his reasons for wanting what he wants. And they may be right or they may be wrong. But he isn’t telling you what those reasons are.

Because he's a comfortable liar. And he thinks you are an idiot. And if you believe a man like this who holds you in such contempt, and you’ve passed the sixth grade, you are proving him correct.

"A lot of Americans are anxious about the economy," the president told business leaders in Chicago. "This frankly is not unprecedented," he said…

Thanks for not only being frank with us, but for also sharing sumthat histree they all alurned ya up at Yale.

It is not, frankly, unprecedented for Americans to be anxious about the economy?

He’s like Marcus Aurelius, isn’t he? He’s like a philosopher king!

It never ceases to amaze me that something like eighty percent of Republicans still approve of this guy. I mean, some kind of mindless, tribalism is one thing—but even so! Do four out of five Republicans really enjoy being talked to like they were retarded fourth graders???

I mean they’re constantly whining about smarty pants liberals who talk down to them about their NASCAR and their WalMarts and their magic cloud beings, and how angry and resentful it makes them.

But, yet, they enjoy some garble mouthed jackass lecturing them about how, frankly, it’s not unprecedented for it to get dark at night?

"In seven years we've had experience in dealing with anxiety," Bush said.

No, in seven years, you’ve had a great deal of experience in creating, magnifying, and exploiting anxiety.

Dealing? Not so much.

"Recent economic indications have become increasingly mixed," he said.

What an imbecile.

What does he mean? That previously, some economic indications were up and some were down, but, now, more are up and down? That’s how it’s increasing? Pretty soon so many indications will be up and down that the only answer will be…

He argued that this bolsters the need to make all the tax cuts passed during his presidency permanent.

Surplus, recession, or even an increasing mix--the answer is Bush's tax cuts!

They're awesome!

They haven't done jackshit for ninety percent of Americans. But they corrected an unjust surplus, which resulted in deficits, which they'll reduce by creating a surplus, all of which should lead to economic certainty, though, frankly, economic uncertainty is pretty much to be expected...and can be remedied with Bush's tax cuts.

I guess his presidentin' style of trouble shootin' harks back to his belligerent drunk days when the answer to any given situation was, likewise, always the same:

"Ah'm a gonna tell tha sumbitch to go on an' fuck hisself!"

Which is why, of course, his Kennebunkport, Maine parents kept arranging for Georgie to get jobs in places like Louisiana.

If you think it's tedious, and childish, and counterproductive in the White House, you ought to see what it's like in the living room.

More Mixed Signals!

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- The United States is deep in its worst housing slump since the Great Depression, and according to a new report, it's not going to get better any time soon.

In a new survey, Moody's Economy.com says many metro areas will record losses of 20 percent or more during the downturn, with the national median price for single-family homes dropping 13 percent through early 2009. Factoring in discount offers from sellers, the actual price decline would be well over 15 percent…

Even though home construction has now contracted severely - the Census Bureau reported Tuesday that new housing starts were down to an annualized rate of 1.187 million units in November, the lowest in 16 years - it will take time to work through the excess inventory…

For the slump to end, much of the excess inventory will have to be worked through. Zandi doesn't envision that happening much before 2010, which he forecasts to be a very modest recovery year with low, single-digit growth.

And more stuff left up to future presidents.

American Monster

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Bush said Friday that while there is some uncertainty about slowing economic growth, the nation's "financial markets are strong and solid."

Yes, they're looking strong and solid!

If you are standing on your head.

"While there is some uncertainty, the report is that the financial markets are strong and solid," Bush said. He described the nation's economic indicators as mixed.

Let's look at the mix!

NEW YORK (AP) -- Wall Street fell sharply Friday after the government's much-anticipated employment report showed weaker-than-expected job growth and a rise in the unemployment rate. The Nasdaq composite index, also pummeled by a downgrade of Intel Corp., skidded more than 3.5 percent, while the Dow Jones industrials fell more than 1.5 percent…

The December report showed employers added the fewest jobs to their payrolls since August 2003. Economists had predicted much stronger growth and an unemployment rate of 4.8 percent. Instead, unemployment climbed to 5 percent in December from 4.7 percent in November. While 5 percent unemployment is still considered good by historical standards, the increase from November clearly made some investors nervous.

"It's a scary number, no question about it. No matter how good you wanted to feel about the economy averting a recession, there is far less conviction than even two or three days ago," said Joe Balestrino, senior portfolio manager at Federated Investors.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - U.S. factory production shrank in December for the first time in nearly a year, sparking fears the economy may be headed for recession and sending stocks sharply lower.

The Institute for Supply Management's manufacturing index, which had already slipped considerably in the second half of 2007, plunged to 47.7 last month, its weakest since April 2003. A reading below 50 indicates contraction.

A drop in new orders also hinted at softening demand, even as companies paid higher prices for their inputs. The report darkened the outlook for the overall economy.

Dec. 18 (Bloomberg) -- Builders in the U.S. broke ground in November on the fewest homes since 1993, reflecting concern loan restrictions would deepen the slump in sales, economists said before a report today.

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- The number of Americans filing for consumer bankruptcy increased by nearly 40 percent in 2007, according to the American Bankruptcy Institute.

Yes, those indicators are mixed! They're everything from depressing, to bleak, to scary!

Having already captured bin Laden, reconstructed and democratized Afghanistan and Iraq, put the Israelis and Palestinians on the Roadmap to Peace, and given all Americans a sense of national purpose with a manned mission to Mars(!), let's see how The Great Diplomat, Military Genius, and Instrument of God will handle these mixed indicators!

He is, after all, a graduate of the Harvard Business School and a Master of Business Administration! This is right up his alley!

"For those of you who are paying more and are worried about your home, we understand that," Bush said. "That's why we have an aggressive policy to help creditworthy people stay in their homes."

He urged Congress to pass legislation to help homeowners refinance. Bush also called for expanding petroleum refining capacity and exploring for energy in "environmentally friendly ways."

It's brilliant!

I can't tell you how many times I've come to the end of the month and sat down with a stack of bills and my checkbook, and wracked my brains trying to figure out where the money was going to come from to stroke that mortgage check. And every time, I rake my hands through my hair and cry the same sorry, desperate lament:

"Oh, if only I had some kind of expanded petroleum refining capacity! I could stay in this home."

By the way, has anyone else noticed that Bush has been calling for expanded petroleum refining capacity since 2001, and he has done fuck all about it?

Q Mr. President, thank you very much, sir.

A lot of families are struggling to pay for gasoline at record prices. What can you do to help them in the short-term? Will your energy report address that? And do you agree with your Energy Secretary, that OPEC bears some responsibility for these prices?

THE PRESIDENT: The price of crude oil has got something to do with the price of gasoline, but not nearly as much as the fact that we haven't built a refinery in years. What this nation needs to do is to build more refining capacity. And we're prepared to work with the industry to encourage capital development, capital to be deployed to develop more refining capacity. And that may require us to analyze all regulations that discourage development.

That's 2001. He's trotted it out a dozen times since then--really, you can look it up and everything.

It's his standard answer for either doing jackshit about the price of gas tripling, trying to gut the Clean Air Act, or trying to ram some Godawful big oil subsidies down the taxpayers throats with shit like the "Gasoline For America's Security Act", which was so odious that even Republicans in the House had to be forced to vote for it.

What else will the Genius In Chief do?

The White House is not ready to say if Bush will offer a stimulus package - possibly coinciding with his State of the Union address on Jan. 28.

A stimulus package? With what???

He already spent all of our money. He spent it all and then he spent money we won't have for decades. Congress has raised the federal debt ceiling nine times under this buffoon. The national debt has skyrocketed from 5 to 9 trillion dollars. He blew a 230 billion dollar and growing annual surplus and turned it into four trillion new dollars of interest bearing debt.

He financed his runaway spending by borrowing the money from the Saudis and the Chinese--and they don't want to buy anymore. We're a bad credit risk.

And Bush did all that damage when the economy was doing okay.

Where the fuck is he going to find the money now???

Tax cuts are among the things being considered for a possible stimulus package, [Deputy press secretary Tony Fratto] said.

Of course!

Gee, I bet those tax cuts start with capital gains, estate tax, and tax on dividends. Probably also top marginal rates.

Is this guy a piece of work or what? Staring down the barrel of the worst presidential legacy evah, with history's finger on the trigger, he still can't bring himself to do the right thing.

Please, God, Let This Be The Last One

Q: Sir, was the government too slow, in this case, to recognize the subprime mortgage problem? And what specific expects — do you expect to see with the economy on the proposals that will be coming later this week?

BUSH: We've been working on this since August. And ours is a belief that, one, we shouldn't bail out lenders. And so, in other words, we shouldn't be using taxpayers' money to say, OK, you made a lousy loan, therefore we're going to subsidize you.

No, that's true. The gubment shouldn't use it's considerable resources to protect bidnesses that make bad loans. And taxpayers shouldn't subsidize someone who made a bad loan.

Which makes me wonder why taxpayers had to shell out $1.3 billion dollars--and those are 1990 dollars--to bail out Neil Bush for making a bunch of bad loans to his business partners???

Oh, that's right! Because the entire Bush dynasty is a bunch of corrupt, dishonest, frauds who would say anything or do anything to take as much money as humanly possible out of your pockets and put them in their own.

One can only assume that no Bush's were making lousy loans this time around.