BottleOfBlog

Let's Start At The Beginning

The first thing President Obama ought to do to begin erasing the awful stain of the Bush administration on this great country is revoke Executive Order 13233 so we can finally, eight years later, find out just what exactly it was Bush was so eager to hide about the Reagan and George H.W. Bush administrations.

The Three Most Beautiful Words In The English Language

Former President Bush, Wife Depart for Texas

Say it with me:

Former.  

President.  

Bush.

It's so beautiful.  I don't ever want to lose this feeling.

THE BIGGEST ZERO THERE EVER WAS

My fellow Americans, our long national nightmare is over.

Vaya con dios, Arbusto.  

Or without.

Nobody really cares.  Just as long as you finally vaya, Shrub.

Hallelujah.

ONE

If you've got any wars you'd like to start, you better get your requests in now.

TWO

Two terms, 6 trillion dollars in new debt, the worst economic performance in decades, the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, the worst terrorist attack on American soil in history, a total failure of foreign policy, two costly unwon wars, a wrecked military, the lowest approval ratings of any president, a totally dysfunctional and politicized federal government from the Treasury to FEMA to the State Department to the Department of the Interior to the Justice Department to the SEC to the FDA...

On the other hand, he did break a few records for taking vacation.  So there's that.

THREE

Just three years ago, a majority of Americans favored impeaching George W. Bush.  It's a good thing we elected a majority of Democrats to Congress to stop that.

FOUR

The Four Horsemen of the Incompetence:  Lecondel, Pockmark, War, and Shit Happens

Can you believe that just four long years ago, as a result of some sort of national spastic fit, we were about swear The Worst Preznit Evah in for a second term?

I know I sure can't.  It seems much longer than that.

FIVE

Just five long years ago...

WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Saying "the desire to explore and understand is part of our character," President Bush Wednesday unveiled an ambitious plan to return Americans to the moon by 2020 and use the mission as a steppingstone for future manned trips to Mars and beyond.

We were so much younger then.  And ambitious.  And we had these really super cool space helmets. 

And then, as a nation, we all sort of pretended like that never happened.  It was kind of amazing, really.

But, in the last eight years, it was like that with a lot of things.

SIX

This one's for Hans Blix.

SEVEN

You know what I'm saying.