My good friend Donna gets her head right and encourages me to do likewise:
Yeah, that's all sucky and everything, but let's talk college football.
Donna, how is it that you are in Oklahoma and I have squandered my long single life on the eastern edge of this continent?
All my life, I've waited for a woman to say those words to me.
Can you believe that dipshit Bomar?
Donna is talking about this dipshit Bomar and, no, I can not believe him. And I know, I know--we're all supposed to feel some compassion and some sympathy and some empathy for these poor college athletes who slave under the tyrany of the NCAA, getting nothing in return except for an entirely free college eduction worth over a hundred thousand dollars at the best universities in the country, free room and board at those same universities, insanely obscene wild girl frenzies every night of the week with hormone crazed co-eds between the ages of 18 and 22, and the once in a lifetime opportunity to step out onto a football field in front of one hundred thousand screaming fans. On network TV.
And play a game they love to play anyway.
I don't know how the poor kids stand it.
Who the fuck names their kid "Rhett"?
I don't know. Maybe Rhett, Sr?
It could be worse. Your dumbass quarterback could be named Jim Bob Cooter!
Though, if he was, he'd have to room with his nose guard, Booger Pickens.
Thompson was better anyway. I think the Sooners are going to kick ass this year!
Spoken like a true Democrat, Donna. Full of optimism and hope, and like the rest of us Democrats, frankly, I think you're going to be brutally abused by some idiot out of Texas. Though, I could be wrong. Last year, for instance, I thought Penn State was going to be horrible.
How's Penn State shaping up?
With Connor, Shaw, and Pozluskny...Pozsceleski? Pozpepsi? Possumupatree?
Whatever. They've got the best linebackers in the country. And, if they took those three guys off the field, they've got three more linebackers behind them who could start for any school in the country.
And they've got two or three lightning fast wideouts. They've got a QB with a rocket arm. They've got a couple of backs who are good for a 1000 yards.
And they've got four guys on the O-line and three guys on the D-line who have never started.
And, oh yeah, their coach is a thousand years old.
I'll tell you after the Notre Dame game.