I saw this a couple of days ago, but didn't blog anything about it because I was too lazy:
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- Senior U.S. intelligence officials call a letter from al Qaeda's No. 2 man to its leader in Iraq "chilling" because of how "calm, clear and well argued" it is in urging preparation for a U.S. departure from Iraq.
Now, if you actually go ahead and read the excerpts from the letter, I promise you that you will be so unchilled that you will practically be sweaty. There is absolutely nothing chilling about this letter. It's the same kind of vague, overly ambitious strategerizing fringe political groups always blather on about while imagining they are more important than they are, that they wield more influence than they do, and that they are involved in some grand struggle that no one but they care about.
Though, it was chilling how this letter was released to the public five days after Bush gave a major Iraq policy speech that no one watched and, even with no one watching, the speech managed to bomb again. Apparently, a majority of Americans, while having no interest or idea in what the president said, felt confident he was lying.
So, suddenly it was leaked to the press!
"It is cowardice that seeks to kill children and the elderly with car bombs and cuts the throat of a bound captive and targets worshippers leaving a mosque," President Bush said October 6.
Details on when or how the letter was intercepted have not been disclosed, and the full text had not previously been released.
Its existence was publicly confirmed last week after what officials called an incomplete and partially inaccurate version was leaked to news organizations.
It's a silly and unchilling letter but it backs up Bush's empty speech and the timing of the letter's leak to the press is chilling. Or funny. Depending on how predictable you find the Bush propaganda machine these days.
But that's not what I found funny about this article. It was the "No. 2 al Qaeda" guy popping up again!
Didn't we freaking kill al Qaeda's "No. 2" guy? Like eight times? Didn't we capture him in Pakistan and release grainy photos of him after being beaten puffy in a prison of undisclosed location? Haven't we killed like a dozen "No. 2" al Qaeda guys in Iraq?
How many fucking "No. 2" guys does al Qaeda have? Do a Google search for "al Qaeda" and "No. 2", you get like three hundred thousand hits. For "al Qaeda" and "number two", you get another two hundred and thirty five thousand hits. For "al Qaeda" and "number 2", you get another one hundred and twenty six thousand hits.
Apparently, al Qaeda is basically set up like this:
Jesus Christ, no wonder al Qaeda is having such success recruiting disaffected and disenfranchised Arabs! You show up to the job interview, you answer a couple of questions about where you see yourself five years from now(Answer: Camp X-ray), the guy shakes your hand and says, "Congratulations! You are now the Number 2 man in al Qaeda! Here's a pair of free sneakers. Don't smoke around them..."
The Help Wanted ad practically writes itself: "Tired of being Number Three? Join al Qaeda, where you're always Number Two!"
These mutherfuckers have more Vice Presidents than General Motors!
And I think it's terrific that were killing and capturing and beating and torturing this endless stream of Number 2 al Qaeda guys. I think it's fantastic that we're, at the small cost of about two hundred million dollars a day, thinning the al Qaeda ranks of Number 2 guys. I can't tell you how impressed I am, according to credible evidence leaked in a timely fashion, that Bush is actually reading the mail of at least one of the Number 2 guys in al Qaeda.
And I hate to be a nit-picker here--in light of our awesome success at dealing with the eight thousand Number Two guys in al Qaeda--but...
It's been four fucking years since the Number One guy killed three thousand Americans on live TV.
How about catching bin Laden, assholes???
(Post post: also, in case I didn't mention it: it's also chilling how fake the letter is. That's chilling, too.)