The Stupidest Mutherfucker Who Ever Lived, Part II

Jerry very kindly sent me the link to the official transcript of the dumbest speech ever.  And I know I said I was looking forward to mocking it in detail, but I’m not.

It was so dumb and empty, and disingenuous, and pointless that there really isn’t even any reason to mock it in detail.

It was a great big zero and it went over with the nation like a fat joke at a Weight Watcher’s convention.

God bless Americans--we were, once again, appalled at the absolute bafoon who's napping in the White House.

I understand the point of that dumbass speech—the real reason Bush gave the speech.  Because it wasn’t to tell the American people what our plans or goals in Iraq are.  It wasn’t to give the American people some straight talk about Iraq.  It wasn’t even to reassure Americans or convince them that their sacrifice in blood and money is worthwhile.

The point of that stupid speech was that Bush’s approval ratings are in the toilet and Bush’s Iraq fiasco is getting in the way of Bush’s assault on the progressive tax code and Social Security.

And some idiot thought it would be helpful for the ol’ Straight Shooter to get on live Tee Vee, say “September 11th” and “terra” about a thousand times, and then Bush could get back to the bidness of his administration, which is looting the national treasury.

So I understand that.

What I think is funny is how stupid that idiot is.  I think it's funny how dumb that idiot--and by that idiot, I mean, Karl Rove--really is.  After all this time, after years in the White House, Karl Rove really thinks that Bush's "successes" are due to Bush.  Or that they're due to Rove, himself.

And even the "liberal" media and even a lot of democrats have made this really, really dumb and obvious fool--Rove-- out to be some kind of evil genius, when, in reality, he’s a total putz.

I’m not saying he isn’t evil.

But a genius?

Christ, the shit he does is just fucking laughable.  If that squirrely prick tried to sell you a car the same way he tries to sell you politicians or “policies”, you’d walk to work every day of your life.

Rove is a one trick pony.  And it’s a good trick the first time you pull it—I’ll gladly admit that.  But there’s absolutely no reason why, in the home of the First Amendment, that you should be able to pull the same stupid trick for like thirty years without all three major networks, the New York Times, the Washington Post, USA Today, every magazine in print, and every single small, medium, or large market sized newspaper, radio or television station in the country proclaiming, “ROVE UP TO HIS ONE TRICK AGAIN” every time this ugly, evil, little retarded garden gnome does it.

Sure, sure—the first time he pulled it, it was pretty clever.  It was scummy and dishonest, but, you have to admit, it was clever.  Maybe even brilliant.  But five or six times down the road?  It isn’t clever or brilliant.  It’s just fucking laughably obvious.

Or it would be, if the stupidest people on God’s green earth--the "liberal" media--would bother to take time out from chattering away imbecilicly about Michael Jackson, and missing white women, and the genius of Karl Rove to even mention it.

And what’s Karl’s one trick?  I'll tell you:  He does something incredibly underhanded and nasty to his own candidate.  Then he sits back and expresses moral indignation that his candidate’s opponent could do such a thing.

That's right.  He attacks his own candidate, and then pretends his opponent did it.  You don't believe me?

He did it in Texas.  He did it in Alabama.  He did it to Gore.  He did it to Kerry.  And I’d bet any amount of money he did it to Dan Rather.  He's probably done it dozens of times.

He does it in every election he’s ever been involved in.  It's the same thing always.  And why does it keep working? 

Because no—none, zero—Americans are aware of this fact.  The incredibly "liberal",  biased media has not, and will not report any of this as a fact.

I don’t know why.  I guess because they’re so darn busy trying to undermine this Preznit’s War On Terra, or destroy the morale of American soldiers, or expose the corporate greed and corruption that runs rampant in the companies that sign their paychecks.

You have to admit, these insane right-wingers are really on to something about this liberal media bias!  There’s no doubt every six or seven figure paid, know-nothing talking head at NBC would like nothing more than to bring down their employer—General Electric.  That would be a super career move!

There’s no doubt that a multi-millionaire like Dan Rather would have liked nothing more than to burn down an incredibly conservative corporation like Viacom, which wrote his monthly paychecks.

There’s no doubt that all those beret wearing, fifth columnists over at ABC would like nothing more than to destroy the incredibly conservative Disney corporation, which pays them so handsomely for reading shit off a teleprompter for a living.

So you can see, these crazy right wingers are probably right.  The “mainstream media” is just full of anti-Bush, anti-big bidness liberals!

So that makes sense.  That’s settled.  And I can get back to my original point, which is:  Karl Rove is an idiot.

Yeah, yeah, he’s got his one big trick.  Which is stupid and woud be laughable if the “mainstream media” would bother to inform Americans about it.

And, yes, he does do one other thing.  And that thing is really horrendous.  And the “mainstream liberal, biased media” won’t talk about it either.  The one other thing Karl does is take his opponent’s strength—whatever it is that’s most admirable about his opponent—and attack it in the most offensive way possible.

You work with children?  Karl Rove will spread rumors that you’re a child molester.  You’ve got a chest full of medals?  Karl Rove will accuse you of cowardice under fire.

It’s what he does.  It’s what he's always done.  He learned it from the great ones, the Nixon scumbags.  And, yet, your “liberal” media, to this day, still will not report it.

They’ll only tell you what a “political genius” he is. 

Because the media is so “liberal”.

They worship him.

But, I'm here to tell you: Karl Rove is a dumbass.  Make no mistake about it.  He is a dumb, mean prick.  And Democrats should be beating his stupid, cro magnon skull in on everything.

Never mind what depths he’s willing to sink to in order to win an election.  Never mind his one big trick. 

People!  Remember:  Rove's first presidential election, he lost.  Remember that he’s been running the political arm of the White House since day one and Bush’s approval ratings have always, from a minority of voters, gone down.

Always.

The only thing Bush has ever had going for him was that, on his watch, he let two dozen psychopathic freaks kill a couple thousand Americans on live television.

That’s it.

That's the Rove magic!  That's the genius!  Three thousand Americans got killed while Bush and Karl Rove were trying to figure out how to get rid of the estate tax!  They--both of them--are brilliant!

There is not one single other thing ever that Bush has said or done that Americans approve of aside from letting a couple of thousand Americans die in the Trade Towers while Bush bolted like a terrified rabbit to some deep, dark hole in Nebraska.

And since that day, when ninety plus percent of Americans backed the Preznit, Bush’s approval numbers have gone down. 

And since the original panic of September 11th, every time Bush appears on television, his approval numbers go down.

You know why?  Because Americans don’t like Bush.  And they don’t like what he stands for.

They never did.

And Rove, this admittedly evil, but hardly genius little freak, is so dumb, like the rest of the Bush administration, that he thinks any time Bush’s poll numbers go in the toilet, all the American people need is to see this sweaty, awkward, twitchy freak and be reminded of September 11th, and they’ll all rally around behind their “popular” president.

And Rove, this supposed political genius, has never noticed that every single time the “popular war Preznit” has appeared before the American people, since looting exploded in Baghdad, Bush’s approval ratings have fallen.

Rove, this political mastermind, has never noticed that the more the American people see of George W. Bush, the less they like or trust him.

Rove, this “turd blossom”, seems to have no idea that nothing either he nor George W. Bush did made Americans rally behind the Republican party or it’s awful modern agenda.

Rove's a genius? 

Rove's the idiot who came up with the stupid ass aircraft carrier, big victory banner, codpiece fiasco that will, for all eternity, be remembered as the dumbest political stunt a president ever pulled.

Rove is no genius.  He isn't even moderately intelligent.  He isn't even smart enough to know why he and the Shrub are where they are.  He's that dumb.

Americans supported this awful president because they thought their country was under attack.  That’s it.  On September 12th, 2001, if we had had a luke warm water bottle sitting in the Oval Office, it would have had a ninety percent approval rating and two hundred and eighty million offers to warm it up.

And these idiots, most of all Rove, keep thinking that they worked some kind of magic!  These morons keep thinking that they’re political geniuses.  These rank amateurs keep thinking they had anything at all do with anything.

Well, they didn’t.  And they don’t. 

And it’s pathetic that they keep on trying to recapture the ol’ magic by invoking September 11th.  It’s pathetic that the people who are running our executive branch have not only so little understanding of how the world works, but also of why they’re even in the White House.

Rove’s no political genius.  He’s just a nasty, shameless, vicious dumbass, who, after spending his whole life in politics, is too stupid to even understand why he’s in the big house.

He’s a clown.  Obvious and without ideas.  Laughable, if he weren’t so destructive. 

And that speech proved it for once and for all.

Comments

[Lies]

And he's such a closet gay, too. After seeing "Bush' Brain", I got the feeling he's been impressed by Dubya from the moment they met - when you hear him talk about their first encounter, it sounds like he's talking about meeting the love of his life! So I think there might be some homo-erotic aspect to their relationship (although Dubya is undoubtedly too dumb to catch on)

[Erwin]

Nice to see you are still fighting the good fight Ricky. It has been a while since I checked your site out, but I am glad I did. I should become a regular again... yeah... a regular. oh and a good old "FUCK BUSH!" for good measure... It always feels nice to say.

[mary]

Super Rickey hits the target again! Well done. I knew you would have a scorcher. Looks like dumbass Rove may be doing some jail time - I wish.

[cookie]

Super Ricky! I'm thinking caped, speedo-wearing super hero fighting against eeeeevil.

[Cherokee]

Oooops. Sorry Ricky... my trackback calls you "Dave". Difficulty with attempting to multitask.

[Jim]

Right again Ricky! Funny, I was just watching "Bush's Brain" on the Sundance Channel as I read your post. The story was mostly about the vicious Karl Rove and his tactics and lies that have ruined countless lives. He'll eventually get his due and it will be none to soon.

[w]

thank fuck we dont have a murdering leader like you yankees do!!!

911+big bad bush=oil