More action on the sad, sorry P.E. front:
STEVENS, Pa. - A man allegedly unhappy with penile-enlargement surgery he underwent mailed explosives to a Chicago plastic surgeon, according to a federal grand jury indictment.
Blake R. Steidler, 24, allegedly made an explosive device that included a model-rocket engine igniter inside a jewelry box, the federal indictment said.
Steidler drove to North Bloomfield, Ohio, on Feb. 10 and mailed the box, but then drive home to Lancaster County, called 911, and turned himself in, according to the indictment.
I'm sorry to laugh, but can anyone even imagine taking a bad situation and making it this much worse?
I mean, first the guy has a penis that's so small he feels like he has to have surgery to make it bigger. Not his fault.
Then, he gets the surgery and has a bad result, so now he not only has a small penis but it's probably weird and lumpy looking. Plus, it's now not only embarrassingly small, weird, and lumpy, but it's expensive, too!
Okay, so that's pretty bad. It's gone from bad to worse.
Then, he parleys his small, weird, lumpy expensive penis into a fucking felony crime and a lengthy prison sentence!
Hey, Sisyphus, really rolling now!
But the kicker is: where once, before any of this started, he just had a private source of embarrassment, now, never mind the medical and legal bills, and the lengthy--sorry!--prison time, the goddam newspapers just printed--for all his friends, neighbors, co-workers, family, and the entire world to see--that he has a really small penis.
Which is, frankly, the kind of revelation he probably got the surgery in the first place to avoid.
Christ, I'm surprised that when the Feds finally stuck him in the tank, a fucking shark didn't leap out of his seatless toilet and bite him in the crotch.